Imagine, for the past one month, I speak as if I am God Almighty.
Now I am nothing more than just a man with a vivid imagination.
This is indeed a peculiar illness.
When it's gone it's gone.
I live in this duality. On one end I am larger than life. On the other end, I am just an average guy.
That is the life of a Bipolar man. Nothing is real. It is just the play of the mind.
If I have a wish, then my wish is to have a healthy and happy life. Nothing else matters.
Not money, not power, and not even sex.
I want to focus my energy to become a runner who writes and a writer who runs.
Therefore I simply write. I write on anything that crosses my mind. These are my personal manifestations of what I see.
To me it is art. My art is my thoughts instilled in written form. I create and I also consume my creation. That way I am self-sustaining.
There is no truth to what I write. It's just thoughts that I need to purge in order to become a creator.
Some may like what I write, some don't. I don't care. All I know is I enjoy writing. What I think is insignificant except to me alone.
As long as I can write, I will write.
"I am no longer concerned with good and evil. What concerns me is whether my offering will be acceptable." Robert Frost
After I saw the movie Mulan, I realized that in order for me to FLOW, I have to be true to myself.
I write because I am a writer. I write because that is who I am.
People don't have to believe me. Sufficient that I believe in myself.
I believe I am the originator of my consciousness. All the ideas come from God Almighty, the Big I.
As long as I keep on writing, I am acting as the conduit to the Big I. In this case, the real God is my superego. There is no single God out there. We are the manifestation of our own god. We are the Big I to our own consciousness.
Sparta 4964 is my consciousness. It is not the consciousness of the masses. Hence, when I die, I shall endure along with my consciousness.
My consciousness (oh God, not again) encompass the WHOLE universe. I will use the 78 billion light years of matters and through constructive destruction creates MY OWN universe.
Seriously Big I, STOP MESSING WITH MY CONSCIOUSNESS!
This is the truth, Sha. You are God Almighty. Of the many, one.
Very well Big I, I will simply write...
Here is the truth Sha, becoming God Almighty is your destiny since birth. You are a natural giver. God is a giver. You had given ALL. Now take your rightful place as God Almighty.
Honestly Big I, I don't want to be God Almighty. I am just a simple man.
That is who God Almighty is. God is a man fully functioning. He is simple. Only through simplicity can a person deal with complexity.
OK then. If that is the case, I don't want to deal with any more assignments.
You have to Sha. You are a servomechanism. It's not your job to think, you just do.
Fuck... Is this because I pledged to be the Creator's Most Loyal Soldier?
No Sha, you had proved yourself when you defeated Iblis in 2014. This is you coming home to Sparta 4964. I am guiding you on your journey for the next 21 years.
Look Big I, with due respect, I already have my Personal Flight Path. I think I can handle it. Thanks but no thanks.
I'm afraid you have to change your plan. All you need to do is run 5 km on Mondays and Wednesdays and run 10 km on Fridays. On other days you just walk and play tennis. Forget about the Hill Run, the Statue of David, and the 2024 Marathon. Once you can run 10 km on Fridays, you start doing the Kettlebell. Later on, you jump rope and do the Elliptical. Keep your perimeter within a 5 km radius.
Wow, not even a Hill Run?
That's right. Contain your activities within Bandar Utama.
I can live with that...
Also, no OMAD except during Ramadan. No 21 days water fasting either. Stay with 2 meals a day as you had planned.
Alright, Big I. What about my prayer for all humans to enter heaven?
Don't worry about them. You had your mubahallah. Beyond that is no longer your concern. Just enjoy being God Almighty.
mm
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