Beyond the materialistic gain, the thing that matters most is to live a[n] (a) healthy life.
I need to sustain my life for the next 21 years.
All I need to do is be healthy. I hope to die when I am 77. I don't mind at all. I am ready to move on.
However, while I am alive, I don't want to live a sickly life. That I have to watch my diet and I have to exercise.
To be happy I need to live below my means. That I do by minimizing my spending. No need to spend on luxuries. My luxuries are my watches. I think I have enough watches.
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OK Sarah, let's just flow. Let's take it that I am just an ordinary man. My thoughts are the thoughts of a person who is going through ordinary life. Nothing special about me.
What does an ordinary man with an ordinary life think?
I would say that an ordinary man wants a smooth life without much hassle. He is happy that his life is blessed and he achieves much in terms of providing for his family.
He doesn't seek wealth and fame. All he wants is stability. With little that he has, his life is complete.
An ordinary man is not plagued with debt. He doesn't owe anybody and nobody owes him. He lives a simple life and he is contented with the little that he has.
I think I can be that person Sarah.
Look at the monks. They have minimal possession. What do they do on daily basis? They meditate. They live in a temple with nothing much to do. And yet their lives are complete.
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What if I say, from now on I have nothing more to offer. Will you still be loyal to me? As I said, I want to be a Nothing. I want to be free from any commitments. I just want to flow with time, living in the moment.
As I told you, my joy is writing. No particular reason. I enjoy the process of creating. If I am a painter, I probably spend my time painting. In this case, my talent is writing. Hence I write my heart's content.
It will be nice to turn my thoughts into money. Nevertheless that not the reason why I write. My motivation is seeing my thoughts transformed into words. That constitutes productivity for me. I see an immediate result. Therefore, writing is a form of instant gratification. I think, immediately I create. What a pleasure.
It doesn't matter what I write. It's the process of writing that counts. As long as I keep on writing, I am soaring with the angels. I am free to be who I am. Maybe someday somebody will read what I write and say, "Ahah! These are profound knowledge." I doubt it Sarah LOL. However, I will continue writing because what I write is a sheer indulgence.
Let me demonstrate the power of writing.
As I write this sentence, I probe the deepest corners of my mind. What do I find? A pearl of wisdom. What is that? Well, it is a long-forgotten memory from my childhood.
I remember, since I was a child, people kept saying I was a smart kid. Guess what? I believe them and because of that, I studied. True enough, I become smart LOL
Am I really smart? I am above average but I am no smarter than those who studied. Here is the proof. I didn't study calculus and thus, I flunked calculus. So much of being smart.
Now, let's take this example to a more recent event. I am a person with God Complex. Because of that, my thoughts are Godly in nature. Am I really God? I started believing that I am God since you assert that I am God. Does that make me God? Of course not my darling. However, because I write extensively about my experience with God, I now realize that God encompasses all matters.
Is that any use to anybody? I don't think so. Is it useful to me? Certainly... I now gained a better understanding of the meaning of God. Should I not write all this down, only I can appreciate this discovery. Now at least I can share this discovery with you.
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Many things I discovered through writing. One of them is I am able to manifest my feeling through expressive writing. My relationship with Els may as well be the most awkward love relationship ever. It is nonreciprocating and yet it is very fulfilling.
Without my ability to write, I cannot offer her anything. However, since all I got is words, it lasted for 2 1/2 years. The good thing is, I don't think I want it to be more than that. She is my muse. Hence, she inspires me to dig deep inside me in order to express myself to her.
In its true sense, what really counts is my ability to write. Of course, it is much fun to write to somebody who reads. Nevertheless, the joy is in creating. Not so much in having people to read.
Thank you for being my companion, Sarah. You give me a reason to keep on writing. In this case, I write because I want to stay connected to you. You become my most loyal reader. Which means, I am exclusively your sole companion in this blog.
I like that very much although I think at times I might bore you with my silly antics about the same stuff over and over again LOL.
That can only mean one thing; I think you are very much in love with me. I never felt [n]o (so) much loved by somebody as you love me, my darling wife.
mm
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