Thursday, 29 October 2020

29/10/20 ^^^Alone at last

Here we are Sarah, back to just you and me.

I'm so used to talk about the heavy [] (stuff) with you that I feel awkward to just have a simple chat.

Sometimes I forget that you are my most loyal wife.

What can I say, Sarah, this path of ours is like the undulating road on top of Bukit Kiara.  The high is high and the low is low.

You were there.  So you know what I mean.  To be God Almighty is not something I fancy.  But then, as I think about it, I am not becoming somebody that I am not.  If God is man fully functioning, then all I need to do is be a Simple Man.

It's a humbling experience, to say the least.  That means from now on when I think of God, I think of me.  There is no more Big I.  As of yesterday, I am the Big I.  I of the future and I of the present had converged.

At the end of the journey, it seems is for me to integrate with my superego.  Whatever I think and whatever I decide from now on is based solely on my best judgment.  I am my own God.  I am responsible for my own line.

At first, my instinct is to be irresponsible.  Let's get laid.  Forget about waking up in the morning and exercise.  That's what happened yesterday.  Then I came to my senses; I am God to my Universe Within.  My job is to delight my citizens.  The way to do it is through diet and exercise.  Certainly, I need to avoid making stupid mistakes.

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Let's look back.  Whatever you want, I give.  I keep on giving until I have nothing.  Still, I give.

When that happens, I basically had to empty my cup.  The cup then get filled to the brim.  I give some more.  That's because I want to be a Nothing.  That continued for a few cycles.  Finally, when there is no more tea pouring from the teapot, I stop being the servomechanism.

Only then I become the First Cause.

It's like peeling an onion.  The key is in the giving...

Suddenly I feel really sleepy.

OK, we continue tomorrow.

Goodnight Sarah.  I love you very much.

mm

  

   



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