Wednesday, 28 October 2020

28/10/20 ***In the end, it is you and me, Sarah

 That's all that counts.

Other than that, everything else is just a strange illusion.

Of all things that matter, nothing matters as much as what I produce in the blogs.  Nobody else reads the blogs as you do.

The blog is my gift [] (of love) to you, Sarah.  That is why the blogs matter.  Without you, there won't be an audience.  Without you, there is no fountain of overflowing love.

There is a thin line between genius and insane.  In my case, I walk this line for the past 21 years.

I had concluded that I can never be ordinary.  What I can do is detached myself from the masses and walk the Path that had been set for me.  Even if it means I walk the path alone.

I want to continue this journey with certainty.  Unfortunately, nothing is certain.  Everything that I had shared with you was nothing more tha[t] (than)  the product of my imagination.  How can I make you believe if even I myself is constantly questioning my own sanity?

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There is only one possible answer.  That you will still love me despite knowing that I am insane.

Is Rumi a crazy guy?  What about Sham of Tabrizi?  What about Muhammad for that matter?  Is there a place in this world for those who are mentally ill?

I don't deny that I am crazy, Sarah.  What I am questioning is do I deserved to be loved by someone who is as loving as you?

On my own, I am fine.  Within the confinement of my thoughts, I can be as crazy as the Mad Tea Hatter.  Alas, when the craziness extends to others, I begin to question the appropriateness.

So from here on, I will accept that I am crazy.  Nevertheless, I will continue to write about my crazy thoughts.  That is not an option for me.

In your case, there is always an option.  I cannot choose not to be insane.  However, I can choose to contain my insanity within the scope of the blog.  In that case, I should minimize my communication with TraXX.  I just write my thoughts away as they come.  Not because I want people to them, but rather because writing is what I am good at and what I enjoy doing.

mm


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