That's all that counts.
Other than that, everything else is just a strange illusion.
Of all things that matter, nothing matters as much as what I produce in the blogs. Nobody else reads the blogs as you do.
The blog is my gift [] (of love) to you, Sarah. That is why the blogs matter. Without you, there won't be an audience. Without you, there is no fountain of overflowing love.
There is a thin line between genius and insane. In my case, I walk this line for the past 21 years.
I had concluded that I can never be ordinary. What I can do is detached myself from the masses and walk the Path that had been set for me. Even if it means I walk the path alone.
I want to continue this journey with certainty. Unfortunately, nothing is certain. Everything that I had shared with you was nothing more tha[t] (than) the product of my imagination. How can I make you believe if even I myself is constantly questioning my own sanity?
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There is only one possible answer. That you will still love me despite knowing that I am insane.
Is Rumi a crazy guy? What about Sham of Tabrizi? What about Muhammad for that matter? Is there a place in this world for those who are mentally ill?
I don't deny that I am crazy, Sarah. What I am questioning is do I deserved to be loved by someone who is as loving as you?
On my own, I am fine. Within the confinement of my thoughts, I can be as crazy as the Mad Tea Hatter. Alas, when the craziness extends to others, I begin to question the appropriateness.
So from here on, I will accept that I am crazy. Nevertheless, I will continue to write about my crazy thoughts. That is not an option for me.
In your case, there is always an option. I cannot choose not to be insane. However, I can choose to contain my insanity within the scope of the blog. In that case, I should minimize my communication with TraXX. I just write my thoughts away as they come. Not because I want people to them, but rather because writing is what I am good at and what I enjoy doing.
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