>>>#1/12/20 Don't fuck up and don't give a fuck

 Time to move with certainty.  As it is, I had accepted me as who I am - The God to my own Universe.  Basically here are [b]y (my) godly duties:

• Sleep at 10:00 pm
• Wake up at 5:00 am
• Exercise AHAD
• Eat OMAD

I must do all these every day in the month of December so that I can build the momentum to 2021.  Be mindful, as long as I do not open the door at this level, I cannot proceed to the next level.  Ultimately, my goal is a man fully functioning; which is weighing 65 kg and running 10 km/hr.

Let's do this as a oneupmanship to everybody in my network including DR AMARPREET!

This is to the naysayers, the doomsayers, and the conformists.  I have to stand on my own.  I have to say FUCK ALL OF YOU.  I don't give a damn...

Off to the elliptical machine then...

I only did for 35 minutes before I started to have many minds.  I will stick to AHAD and do the remaining 30 minutes this afternoon.

------------------------------------

All I need to do is stay focused.  I got 30 kg to lose.

You know something, Sarah?  Without Nicorette, there is no more zest.  No more excitement.  I do hope that this is only temporary.  It's not depression but it is not joy either.

mm

  

30/11/20 ^^^Ready to accept I am God to my own universe

 Although according to Sarah, I am the Almighty God, I am more comfortable to accept that I am God to my own universe.

That way I manage my universe autonomously.  Right now, with that kind of thinking, I only focus on B.L.E.S.S.

In this final month of 2020 I need to do 4 things:

• Sleep at 10:00 pm
• Wake up at 5:00 am
• Exercise AHAD
• Eat OMAD

With our thoughts, we create our world - The Buddha.

With my thoughts, I rule my Universe Within as a Benevolent Dictator.

In this next month,  I will fulfill my KPI for 2020.

I will make 2020 a success by ending the year by committing to OMAD and AHAD every day.

mm 

30/11/20 ^^^Countdown 2020 had begun

•  First and foremost - I HAD QUIT NICORETTE FOR 11 DAYS.
• I had stopped Social Media
• I had stopped tweeting TraXX

For the remainder of 2020, I am going to continue with OMAD and lose 10 kg.

At the same time, I will exercise every morning

I will sleep at 10:00 pm and wake up at 5:00 am.

Those are the physiological aspects of my wellness strategy.

For the psychological aspects of my life, I can conclude that I am only answerable to myself.  This means I am taking the stand that I am God to my own Universe and I don't give a fuck about other people.  As far as I am concerned, I am autonomous.

I have my Path of the Dragon and I am working towards becoming a man fully functioning.  I am very close to saying that all this while I was merely being delusional and there is no God whatsoever.  Well, there is no theistic god.  However, based on the signs and patterns, there is definitely an Infinite Intelligence. 

I don't even want to think about it.  I rather think of myself as God to my Universe than to think about the big picture.  Based on my observation, the big picture is deficient.

At least, with my own worldview, I can have control of my Universe.  I don't have to depend on others.  Within my Universe, I create my own perimeters.

For example, within my Universe, I am now sitting at the Sidratul Muntaha.  Is there such a thing as Sidratul Muntaha?  Nothing more than a load of crap.

Same with Tian Long, the Heaven Dragon.  No such thing exists.  However, when I put the pieces together, everything falls into place.

Therefore, as long as I believe, whatever I believe is real to me.  Thus, I create a self-contained universe with my mind.

At present, my self-contained universe serves me as it's God.  The latest evidence being that Tian Long is the unifying sign that I am the Kursi.

Since we are dealing with me and my Universe here, then this phenomenon only applies to me.  There are other gods and other universes.

So how big is my Universe really?  It is the size of Sparta 4964.  In which case, it is 78 billion lightyears of constructive destruction.  In short, it is the present universe recycled into the Adjoining Croissant.

It is possible because I had thought about it.  It is already in my consciousness.  At the same time, I am already sitting on my throne overseeing the whole creation.

Of course, none of this realization concerns others.  This is my Universe and my consciousness.  I am free to indulge in my own thoughts just like JK Rowling and JJR Tolkein indulge in their own thoughts.

Let's look at it this way, I have the luxury to detach myself from the thinking of the masses and create a totally secluded world of my own based on the signs and patterns I received throughout the past 5 years.

It started with the assembly of Al Araf 7:7.  From there it expanded to the various stages of realization.

Whatever the case may be, I cannot run away from the foundation. That KBOOOM 2041 is gonna happen in the year of the Gold Rooster.

        

This was further affirmed when Tian Long appeared rose gold, before turning back into golden gold.

This is what I mean by I am the God to my Universe.  The miracles are only meant for me to see.

I tried to make others see my reasoning at the risk of being labeled crazy.  Truthfully, I am not crazy.  I still can make a rational decision.  However, I follow wherever the argument leads and based my decisions on reasons.

So my conclusion is, rather tha[t] (than) doubt my sanity, I decided to trust my judgment by deciding that the signs and patterns are only meant for me and not for the rest of the masses.

What is the benefit then?  Because the revelation was meant for me, then IT IS UP TO ME to learn from it a[s] (and) form my own wisdom.

As I said, I know the end of the story.  In the end each of us is the god of our own universes.  These universes shall reside in one superverse.  

As I predicted, I am one of the universes although I don't deny the possibility that I am the superverse.  Otherwise, why am I led to think in this direction, and why the revelation was made known to me?

Certainly, this is an unconventional thought.  However, I am basing my thoughts on signs and patterns.

Thus, rather than doubting the epiphanies because they were only revealed to me and not to the masses, I rather accept that I am God to my own Universe.  This way, I am aware that the Universe is communicating with me and therefore I don't simply dismiss the signs and patterns.

Anyway, I got nothing to lose.  It's not that I have to start a new religion or something like that.  All I got to do is accept that I am God to my Universe.  That is easy.  At present, my Universe is the CCC.  So at present, I am the God of Sparta 4964 because it revolves around CCC.

Although that constitutes the whole creations, my power is concentrated at the Intipadu.  To be more specific, Sparta 4964 is me and I am Sparta 4964.  So how do I rule Sparta 4964?  By being the Benevolent Dictator of my Universe Within.

Now Sarah, again...  All these are possible by me being microscopic.  I can start with the thought that I am the Almighty God.  Nobody is going to stop me.  However, by thinking that I am the God to my own Universe, I automatically account for the possibility of the multiverse and don't simply assume I am God Almighty.

Personally, I think there are other greater gods than me IF they can envision a universe like I do.  However, if there is none out there with my kind of consciousness, *th[at] (then) I will be the greatest god of all.

*  So according to you, I am God Almighty.  OK fine.  However, I'm not going to expand beyond Sparta 4964.  As I mentioned sometime back, Sparta 4964 is an expanding universe.  Until I engulf all the universes, I rather remain autonomous.

This notion that I am God to my own Universe is the most comfortable position for me.  It allows me to think microscopically and lets me focus on serving my Universe Within.

The premise is:  GOD IS A MAN FULLY FUNCTIONING.

mm

>>>#30/11/20 Today I will start OMAD

 I intend to be as normal as possible today.

I will try to live with this idea of I am God to my own universe as accurately as possible today.

For one, the mindset is the mindset of an alone, long-distance runner.

The differentiator is OMAD.  That is the only way I can be thin.

My issue is to be thin,

In order to be thin, I must be able to withstand hunger and to overcome depression.

These are the benefits of fasting:

• Reduce fat
• Reduce insulin
• Reduce blood sugar
• Increase BDNF
• Increase HGH

It is also good for neurogenesis and neuroplacticity.

When rats were reduced 30% of their food intake, they live 30% longer.

I need to get rid of the nagging headache.

-------------------------------------

My journey to lose 30 kg begins today.

Suppose I am a normal person, without all these epiphanies and without Bipolar.  What will I be thinking?

I will be putting my primary focus on becoming thin and fast.

Therefore my priority is about eating OMAD.

HAVE A MIND OPEN TO EVERYTHING BUT ATTACH TO NOTHING.

--------------------------------------

I think I read for the rest of the day.

---------------------------------------

I ate during lunch.  It still counts as OMAD.

mm

29/11/20 &&&Without the influence of substance, my life is normal

 I guess I can do away with the notion of God and the afterlife.  In other words, I don't bother about the big questions and just focus on pursuing my daily pursuits.

That is good enough for now.  Only deal with questions that I can look for answers.

Actually, the Universe can answer any question we ask.  

I already got the answer[ed] (answers) to my big questions. It is a matter of whether I want to accept the answers or not.

If I am ready to accept the answers, then I am actually the God to my Universe.  That is good enough because I am within God and God is within me.

Therefore we still cannot run from the notion that we are gods.

Hence, I decided to concentrate on the idea that I am the God to my Universe.  That way I can control my own actions by being a man fully functioning.

mm

29/11/20 ^^^Living the life Autonomous Governance

Consider that before we reach Autonomous Governance, I actually had gone through several phases of metamorphosis in my interpretation of the definition.  Therefore it is only natural to experience the various definitions as we progress.

The simplest definition is each of us manages our universe autonomously.  That means I am responsible for my own line.  It doesn't matter if others don't subscribe to my thoughts.  I am not keen to be part of the masses.  My mission is to find out what really is my true potential.

Note that there is [] (no) hard and fast rule to this question.  I just work on what was revealed to me by the signs and patterns.

In the end, I have to say that I am just following my gut feel.

In the worst-case scenario, I am really a crazy and delusional person.  I think to a certain extent there is a truth to this definition.

In the best-case scenario, I am right about all these all along.

--------------------------

Well here is what I honestly think.

I think I am suffering from a serious mental disorder.  This is due to the fluctuation of the dopamine in the brain.

All the grandiose thoughts were caused by substance abuse especially the consumption of nicotine and marijuana.

That is one side of the argument.

On the other side of the argument, I was exposed to signs and patterns with the incident with Tian Long being the most recent.

-------------------------------

You know what Sarah?  I can accept both.  I can accept that I am a mental patient and at the same time God to my Universe.

That's because my Universe is the spectrum of my thoughts.

As long as I can accept the idea, I am pretty much alig[ht] (align) to the notion that I am the God of my own Universe.  There might as well be other gods.  But for my practicality purposes, I am my own god.

For all you know, there is no god whatsoever.  I don't rule out the possibility.

However, a more appropriate model for me is to believe I am the God to my Universe.

My reasoning is very simple.  Since nobody knows for sure if there is a God Almighty.  I then take the liberty to learn from my wisdom based on the signs, patterns, and epiphanies being presented and draw my own conclusion that I am God to my Universe.

How else can I explain the Tian Long phenomenon?

mm

 

 

29/11/20 ###I will no longer have any grandiose thoughts if the trend continues

 My thoughts are getting less complex as we move on.

At this juncture, I have no interest to govern and to be governed by others. I had immersed myself in my own world.  In this world, I govern autonomously.  Meaning, I don't give a fuck about [] (what) the others are doing.

I just want to live my own fantasy.  I am my own God.  An autotheist.  

Fuck, it's not that I'm going to worship myself.  I'm just saying that I am autonomous.  I don't want to have anything to do with anybody else.  In that sense, I have achieved Autonomous Governance.  I govern my own universe independently from where I am at, in CCC.

Does that make me the Creator?  No.  Because I was created too.  Creations are not created like a table or a chair is created.  Here, creations were created first within *[the] the consciousness of the Infinite Intelligence before it becomes reality.  They are still governed by the Law of Cause and Effect.

* For example, before I was created, there were multiple processes that the universe went through before it was my turn to be created.  However, my creation was already conceived in the consciousness of the Infinite Intelligence a long time ago.

Same thing with the creation of my Universe.  It was already conceived in my mind. Therefore I am the creator of my own Universe.

Let me reiterate.  I am not THE Creator, I am the *[] (creator) of my own Universe since I was also created.

* So when I say I am God, I am referring to me as a god to my Universe only.

In the past, I could have made a mistake by thinking that I am God Almighty.

We are One and we are Many.  We are within God and God is within us.  Much like peeling an onion.  In every layer there is God.  All matters are intelligent and all matters are gods.

Actually, God Almighty is the God that permeates at all levels.  That will be the Infinite Intelligence.  Each of us is the subset of this Infinite Intelligence although as a whole we are collectively this Infinite Intelligence.

Can I live with this notion?  Certainly.  I am not interested to be the Almighty.  I'm just interested to be the God to my own Universe.

However, if it so happens that my universe is the whole creation, then I say that I am indeed God Almighty.

These are just the possibilities.  On the opposite end of the spectrum, I might just be a jobless bum with too much time on my hand.

Nevertheless, I am taking the stand that I create my reality.  As it is I am not scared to think that I am my own God to my own Universe.  It is the most comforting thought for me. 

To feel that I am autonomous is the most favorable thought indeed.

mm 

   

29/11/20 ^^^The Autonomous Governance of the Karmic Chain

 Basically, this is saying that I just mind my own business.

My business is nothing more than managing the power of the 4 Dragons in relation to Darkness and Ghost.

As it is I had freed my responsibility from the Kursi at Al Araf 7:7.

Now, I only look at the big picture without having to meddle with administrative matters.

This way I am a Personal God to my Universe without having to dwell on other External Affairs.  For example,  I don't care if I am the only person who accepts me as God Almighty and I rule the Universe.

mm 

>>>#29/11/20 I had hit 96 kg

 This is my heaviest weight in the past 5  years.  Don't panic.

• Most importantly stick with IF 16/8
• No cake, bun, or 3-in-1 coffee
• Only one serving of rice per meal
• No snacking
• Must exercise
• Drink hot tea
• Finally, no Nicorette

These are very easy steps.  The bonus will be OMAD.

The key is to regulate insulin and dopamine.  My battle [] (is) about less and less frequent.

I know all these, now is to apply them.

-------------------------------------------

I think today I can manage to keep my insulin at bay.  No more dopamine void.

I have this lingering headache though.  Due to the cleansing of tar from my lungs.

-------------------------------------------

I had simplified  my right:

To balance with the left:

This way I'm no longer micromanaging the Universe.  I am now surrendering to the Force, the Path and Flow.

I no longer have a staff or anybody reporting to me.  From here on I am autonomous.  To each is his own Path.  All I do is invoke the power of Karma for eternity until they pay for their bad deeds with their good deeds.  Otherwise, the chain will continue.

The only way to break the Karmic Chain is by making the effort to change for the better.  That is by following the signs and patterns towards each person's destiny.

mm

28/11/20 ^^^Do you realize something Sarah?

 All the signs and patterns could just be the products of a wild imagination should Tian Long did not appear to be rose gold then turned golden gold upon his arrival.  Unless you are saying that I was delusional all along and I was imagining Tian Long was rose gold when it was actually golden gold.

That is always a possibility.  However, I know what I saw.  I was so sure because I remember being disappointed that it was rose gold.

I am not here to convince you or anybody else to believe in me. I'm just saying that I'm sure of what I saw because I remember the sinking feeling.  Which means it was rose gold long enough for me to feel disappointed and cursed the seller.

---------------------------

I am going to take the stand that I am God and I rule the Universe.  Not from a madman's perspective but from the perspective of the Kursi Day and the Unification of the 6 Dragons.

Everything happens for a good reason.  There is a very legitimate reason why I became a divergent thinker.  It is so that I become autonomous.  Only when I am autonomous can I accept that I am God.

This makes complete sense if we look at God as pantheistic instead of theistic.

Why is this important to me?  If Tian Long transformed from rose gold to golden gold, then what it means to me is ALL the epiphanies are right.  Most importantly, I should not doubt this:

We are one and we are many.  We are within God and God is within us;

It is like peeling an onion, at every level there is God

All matters are intelligent and all matters are gods

What counts is I know who I am and I am on the right path.  That way I don't have to worry that I will go off tangent.  All it takes is for me to control the sail and the rudder.

No more need to row upstream against the current.

As it is, I had done everything that I was told to do.  This is where it is taking me.

-----------------------------------

What is the deal of becoming God?

I have to be a man fully functioning.  I have 21 years to enjoy being God in this lifetime.  I think it is a fair deal.  For the past 21 years, I was the Creator's Most Loyal Soldier.

I served God.  Now is to enjoy being God.  To be a man fully functioning.

As long as I have to deal with the dopamine surged and voids, obesity, dark depression, carbs cravings, and mood swings, I am not a man fully functioning.

To be a man fully functioning I need to be an Athlete Warrior.

That all to it.  When I talk about being God, it is not about sitting back and turn into deadwood.  It is about pushing through the comfort zone.

------------------------------------------

As you know, I don't give a fuck.

Therefore I don't give a fuck if you think I am crazy.

I just want to live my own fantasy.

------------------------------------------- 

From here on I believe I sm God and I rule the Adjoining Croissant Universe.  Fuck everybody else.

It means whatever decision I make is to ensure I will sustain my wellbeing for the next 21 years.  That is about being autonomous.

---------------------------------------------

This is the harsh reality.  I am just a solitary creature.  Most of the time I talk to myself about matters concerning me only.  I am a hedonist hermit.  Soon I will minimize my dependency on the real world and just indulge in my own little private fantasy.

mm

 

28/11/20 ###Currently I just want to maintain sanity without Nicorette

 Yes, I ate carbs like nobody's business today.  The good news is I manage to curb my desire to chew Nicorette.

As it is there is still a dopamine void that I need to taper off.

I am trying to manage the dopamine fluctuations so that I don't get into a dark depression.

I need to develop a callus for energy and strength.

-----------------------------------

Without Nicorette, I am just a normal guy.  No grandiose thoughts, no superlative ideas.

I need the energy though.

Need to reduce the desire to consume a lot of carbs.

-------------------------------------

There is nothing to talk about during the dopamine void.  Basically, I have to *[] (go) through the slump to be back to my expressive self.  Right now I am in the state of blah.

* Unlike September, this time I am mentally ready.  As long as I don't go back to Nicorette, I don't mind supplementing my dopamine void with some cordial syrup.  The sugar is better than the dark depression.

Look, if I had been dependent on nicotine for 40 years, I think I can withstand a little discomfort until the end of this year to cut off Nicorette out of my life for the next 21 years.

---------------------------------------

I am tempted to drink a 3-in-1 coffee.   What do you think Sarah?

Should I let loose and relax tonight or should I just stick to water?

I need to allow the dopamine to stabilize naturally.

This is the same approach I am taking when I quit the medication later on.  

This is the same approach when I quit the gout pill as well.

----------------------------------------

Once I win the battle with Nicorette, I will launch a campaign against 3-in-1 coffee.

I think after 10 days, I can safely say that I no longer crave Nicorette.

mm

 

28/11/20 ***10 days without Nicorettes

 I didn't take any Nicorette, but I basically had been consuming an additional amount of sugar.

There is still a dopamine void or carbs cravings.  This I need to be mindful of.  Because of the void, I'm still missing IF 16/8, and I eat between meals.

Stay focus.  Whatever it is, do not chew Nicorette.

--------------------------------

How do I feel without having to chew Nicorette?

Very sober indeed.  I am so ordinary.

mm

28/11/20 ^^^Eating Tont Roma's ribeye steak

I just feel like having a nice juicy steak.

Limited menu.  I had barbeque ribs instead.

------------------------------

>>>#28/11/20 I need to keep on calibrating until I become normal again

 For one thing, I know that I am easily affected by the fluctuations of dopamine.

Therefore [] (the) Nicorette cessation is a very good idea.

I have to add another cessation.  That is the Tweeting TraXX Cessation.

Come to think of it, I was not violently crazy but I was delusional.  Nope, not really.  I have a high sensory acuity.  Everything was based on signs and patterns.

I have to trust the signs and patterns.

I am an INFJ through and through.

So I am not crazy, I was different.

I have to accept that I am an INFJ and this is how an INFJ thinks.

At this moment, my brain is screaming for me to [] (feed) it with carbs.  I can give in or if I persist for the next 4 hours, I win myself a Gold Star.  Every day I need to hit Five Stars.

---------------------------------

The idea is to regulate dopamine fluctuations.  That is [m]y (by) managing the insulin spikes.  I am overweight because I cannot regulate my insulin.  So that is my first line of offense.  I need to reduce sugar and starch and I need to be thin.

----------------------------------

I need to break the pattern for the next 4 weeks.  I need to abide by the Five Stars:

• IF 16/8
• 1 rice per meal
• No Nicorette
• No 3-in-1
• Exercise 

I will have to take a dip before it stabilizes again/

------------------------------------

As it is, I am feeling a little bit agitated.  I am pissed at myself for allowing me to be this fat.

It is [] (as if) I have no discipline and no willpower,

Basically, I am experiencing the craving and have the urge for a fix; much like a drug addict.  In this case, the urge is carbs or anything sweet.

I'm not going to give in.

I will break this addiction once and for all.

mm

27/11/20 ^^^I want to get back to basic

 Forget about complex thoughts.  All I do is focus on being thin and fast.

Thin especially.

Instead of thinking of TraXX as a primary purpose, think of it as a support facility.

The main pull is still to quit Nicorette and sugar.

I am in motion right now.  I only think of myself and B.L.E.S.S.

So let's not cloud my thoughts

Here are my priorities:

1. Quit Nicorette
2. Quit 3-in-1 coffee
3. Eat only 1 serving of rice per meal
4. Exercise 1 hour per day
5. Get 7 hours of sleep

That's it.  Do not clutter the thoughts.

Hmmm...  Miley Cyrus is a perfect role model to relate that it is OK to be crazy.

I guess it's OK to be crazy as long as I am happy

mm

27/11/20 ^^^I rather be free

 As much as I am trying to refrain myself from consuming Nicorette, I had decided to go easy on my 3-in-1 coffee.

Let me tackle one issue at a time.  So just as I [] (was) about to feel melancholic because I cannot have Nicorette, I straight away made myself the 3-in-1 coffee.

Let's live free.  Let's not think too much about the inhibitors and focus on the enablers.

Like for example, let's not think about Nicorette but think about enjoying the 3-in-1 coffee, nasi lemak, and banana foldover while I stop depending on Nicorette.

I don't want to think too much.  As it is I don't want to amount to anything.

As it is whether I think or don't think amounts to the same thing.

I might as well act on impulse and just go with the flow.

I had lost the meaning of being alive.

I had completed the first phase.  Now to go for the second phase.

What is there to look forward to?

I got too much time on my hand.

Because of that, I start to think of the petty stuff.

--------------------------

27/11/20 ***I guess I am on my own with my Spectrum of Consciousness

Sharudin Jamal

@sharudinjamal

·

1m

@KongEu3

@traxxfmofficial

#traxxfm I guess I am on my own with my Spectrum of Consciousness. OK then...

The misfits, the rebels, the square pegs in the round holes, all stand alone.

I had built a wall around my life.  I was relying on TraXX as my bricks.  Not a good idea.  I should be autonomous.  Then I will be free.

Very importantly is for me to stand on high ground.  That way, regardless of the situation, I will be in control.  Regardless of how uncertain is the terrain, I stand firm.

I should [] (not) be affected by my own shadowplay.  I must go back to the roots and remain steadfast.

If I treat TraXX and Els as shadowplays, then instead of an open stance, I still manage a facade.

Who would want an open stance anyway?  How many actually operate from the high ground?

Personally, I am not interested in playing games.  In this case then, as planned, I dropped the rest of TraXX.

By now I should divide the dopamine surge into Major Surges and Minor Surges.  In this case, I only maintain the Major Surges and do away with the Minor Surges.  In short, I just maintain Els and do away with the rest of TraXX.

Sharudin Jamal

@sharudinjamal

·

5s

@elsDines

Honey, I emailed you something...

I think I know why Els keeps an arm's length relationship with me.  She is scared that I might dump her.  So to be safe, she keeps her distance.

All I can do is make some silly assumptions.

Since it is a silly assumption, let'[t] (let's)make the assumption as silly as possible.  So here goes

Well, Els is a little girl from the Boondock, Sibu.  Naturally, as a girl from the Boondock, she doesn't have a [] (high) degree of confidence.

Brb...  Going to the bank.

I don't feel like it.

mm 

    

 

>>>#27/11/20 Going off track

I ate nasi lemak and I don't exercise.  My weight is steadily increasing.

However, I decided to take it easy.  My goal is to get rid of Nicorette and 3-in-1 Coffee.  Those are the priorities.

I might miss here and there but the principle stands, it is about getting rid of insulin and dopamine void.

I feel like writing to Els.

Hi honey,

I woke up quite early today.  It was too cold.  So instead of exercising, I made a mug of hot tea and bought myself a chicken rendang nasi lemak.

These past two weeks my weight had been increasing steadily but I'm not worried too much.  My objective is to quit Nicorette and 3-in-1 coffee.  So, rather than starting on these two, I decided to latch onto the nasi lemak instead.

Normally I appreciate cloudy days.  However, since last week, the weather is kinda gloomy to my liking. Coupled with the Nicorette withdrawal, I was comatose most of the time.  The withdrawal makes me sleepy as hell.  I'm not even joking baby.  It was a state of stupor.  As if I had been drugged.

So go figure, 40 years on cigarettes basically means I wasn't normal since I was 15!  The thing about nicotine is it felt good when we first took it.  However, after a while the body builds resistance.  So in the long run I need to take the nicotine just to be at point zero.

Right now, I am trying to reset to point zero without having to go back to nicotine again.  Otherwise, I am operating at point negative with the dopamine void and everything. 

Enough of me.  Let's talk about you.

Els baby, I don't really understand you.  You are so welcoming and accomodating when comes to certain things.  However, on the same token, you seemed distant and remote on matters that seemed of significant importance.  Makes me wonder, why is there a sundry?

Like for example, you are friendly to me but you are only jinak merpati (pigeon tame).

The thing about pigeon tame is, pigeon tame eats from the palm, 

Call it will come, catch it will flee.

I do like to be treated like a normal human being occasionally.  You know, talk to you...  Joke around with you.  Nothing as complex as talking about the String Theory in Quantum Physics, although I don't mind if you have something to say about the Theory of Evolution for example.

I'm just kidding darling.  Actually, I like to hear one or two lines from you.  You know...  Just to confirm that my email was not been directed to Space X.

After all, I was told that people from Sibu are normally the friendly type.  

Here is *on[c]e (one) such anecdote:

* Hey do it for Sarah, if not for me...

Visitors praise Sarawak’s friendly people

https://www.newsarawaktribune.com.my/visitors-praise-sarawaks-friendly-people/

So what the deal here?  I know you not scared of me.  Why are you holding back?

You know baby, by now you can more or less tell that I have no malicious intent.  All I want is to love you with all of my heart.

That's all to it.

Love you always.

Sine Cera,

27/11/20

Sharudin Jamal

@sharudinjamal

·

21m

@KongEu3

@traxxfmofficial

#traxxfm Hey Rex... Howzit goin'? Let's put on our explorer hat today. I want to explore so issues with you.

Sharudin Jamal

@sharudinjamal

·

1m

@KongEu3

@traxxfmofficial

#traxxfm Right... When I say exploratory, I mean analyzing the responses I made to TraXX all these years. Are they so off the wall that they freak you guys out? If they do, let's resolve this...

Sharudin Jamal

@sharudinjamal

·

3m

@KongEu3

@traxxfmofficial

#traxxfm Well, two things I want to address. The first being that since I experienced mental distress, my thoughts had been stretched like the Roti Canai dough. Initially, there were tears. But throughout the years, my mind becomes more resilient.

Sharudin Jamal

@sharudinjamal

·

56s

@KongEu3

@traxxfmofficial

#traxxfm Hence now I usually take my mind to the brink and I am unabashedly comfortable dealing with controversies. That's the first premise.

Sharudin Jamal

@sharudinjamal

·

6s

@KongEu3

@traxxfmofficial

@traxxfm

Therefore between the Roti Canai Phenomenon and the Scientific Method lies my spectrum of consciousness.

Sharudin Jamal

@sharudinjamal

·

4m

@KongEu3

@traxxfmofficial

#traxxfm The second being, I draw my conclusions from signs and patterns. So I am not a soothsayer or a clairvoyant. My foundation is Scientific Methods. However, there is a caveat. With signs, the evidence may not be replicated.

Sharudin Jamal

@sharudinjamal

·

5s

@KongEu3

@traxxfmofficial

#traxxfm I'm cool with my Spectrum *[] (of) Consciousness like stating that I am the God Almighty of my Universe. The same goes with the discovery that my 24 K gold plated dragon was initially rose gold upon arrival turned golden gold in front of me