23/11/20 ***Since I don't chew Nicorette, I eat a lot

 Too many carbs today.  The good news is I am not depressed.

The lesson I got so far is we are governed by our neurotransmitters.

We are nothing more than an organic machine powered by trillions of cells and 10 times more microorganisms.

There is no purpose for my existence

That's it  I'm not going to think if the big questions anymore.

Is there a God?

Is there an afterlife?

Yes and yes, so what?  It's not that I can do anything about it.  It's just like saying, is there a sunrise tomorrow? Yes, so what?

So the big questions are really the questions when you have nothing else to think about.

If you have to worry about paying your bills or whether you gonna have a job next month or next year, the big questions don't really matter.

Here are my answers to my own big questions.

I am God to my own Universe and based on signs and patterns, I will rule autonomously beginning now until I cross to the afterlife.

Is it true?  It is true because I believe in it.  So fuck rationalization.  Make it simple by simply believing what you want to believe and it will be real to you.  That's what Ronda Bryne is saying.

So I'm not going to question the answer that comes to me.

As it is I am a god to my own universe.  If so happen my universe is the whole creations, then I am the God Almighty.  However, I believe there are other gods and other universes.

So fuck that.

Another possible idea is there is no god.  This is like saying there is nothing more intelligent out there than humans.  So I discount this idea because I don't think humans are the most intelligent beings.

So fuck that too.

Another option is to take the big questions out of my life.  That way, I just focus on the little questions.

Finally, another approach is to not question and just let it be.

Personally, I'm done asking questions.  I just want to accept the answer as it comes and live with the realization.

Like for now, the answer is I am God and I rule the universe.  That is one hell of an answer.  Rather than doubting the answer, I just accept the answer and be happy with it.  After all, the answer is supported by signs and patterns.

Why is it so hard for me to accept that?  I am capable of visualizing the whole model.  If the claim is right, what I can conceive I can achieve.  I can conceive I am God and I can conceive I rule the universe.  Therefore it is true for me. 

mm