Friday, 20 November 2020

20/11/20 ^^^What if I don't give a fuck and don't fuck up?

 What i[t] (if) I KNOW that depression is only temporary and I will become better after I wade it through?

What if I am certain that there is a pleasure beyond the pain?  What if I endure the 4 weeks and then from there I am in charge of my life again?  I become thin, I can run and I sleep and eat well again.  Will it not be a worthy effort?

So I say, fuck depression and I will quit Nicorette and 3-in-1 coffee.  What nourishes me destroys me.

I shall avoid poisoning my body with insulin.  I will take control of dopamine all over again.

Man, I am God Almighty to my Universe.  I am in charge.

You know what Sarah, it seems the downhill is starting as I am peaking.  That is the Point of Paradox.

In order to be a man fully functioning, I need to fight my own demon.  In my case, it is the dopamine surge and void.

I want to start fresh from here on.  I want to take control of my life.

I want to remain autonomous

mm

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