All the while I was trying [] (to) gain acceptance for being a divergent thinker. I don't need permission from others to think like the way I do. It's not that I owe them a living.
So now I just BE the person I was meant to be. Do I need permission to believe that I am God Almighty? Do I need permission to tell Els that she is my soulmate? None whatsoever. I just tell. Same thing with my decision to pursue Athlete4Life. I just do.
With that, I conclude that I can live without having to deal with the masses.
All this while my issue is about being accepted. On the other hand, I refuse to conform. It is a recipe for disaster. If I don't want to conform, rightfully I should not be bothered whether others will accept me.
If I am not bothered with Els accepting me, I just keep on treating her as a captive audience. I just blast my thoughts away. It is a zero to zero proposition. It should not affect me as it doesn't affect her. Then I only treat it as a form of entertainment.
I get to stop putting her on the pedestal. She doesn't belong there.
Brb, washing clothes...
I guess now, what matters is my ability to refrain myself. Also, I need the ability to be positive. There are a lot of things I don't know. For example, I don't know for sure if Els rejects me. I just assume based on her nonreciprocating behavior.
Of all the reasons I am feeling down [] (is) because I am in a bad mood. I should not let that influence my decision.
I think today I just exercise in the afternoon. Forget about Vidi for these next 2 days.
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