18/11/20 ###Don't mind me having a good time by myself here

 Tian Long is on clear sight right now.  What a sight.  It reminds [b]e (me) that I need to look at the bright side of life.

I am a man with a mission since it's arrival on 10/11/20.  Tomorrow is another milestone for me.  I will face my demon, the dopamine void.  I will develop the mental toughness to overcome this illness.  

IF I CAN'T THEN I MUST.

To fight is to develop the callus of the mind.  I need to push my limit.  That's all to it.  I can talk about it all day long but it means nothing if I don't take action.

The first action is to love sleeping early.  That should be the most pleasurable thing in my life.  I have to be ahead of time all the time.  Then can I control time.

I don't need outside input to affirm who I am and what I'm supposed to do.  All the answers are within me.  If I need insights, I just read the right books.

Ahhh... Tian Long.  I am ready to be the Forever Yin and Yang Forever.  I am ready for some pain in my life.

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Personally, I enjoy being alone.  I write and I read.  In between, I eat, move, and sleep.  Heaven...

As for the epiphanies, let them come.  I am ready to chart my future.  I am on my way to my destiny and my destiny only.  Wow, it's like taking a first-class ticket to Disney World.

All I need to do is fight depression.  It starts with a goodnight's sleep.  Then the morning exercise.  If I do that, then the next thing is to eat right.

I can win over depression.  This is my biggest battle.  Mania I can tackle.  Let me tackle the head and the tail will follow.

All this while I smoke cigarettes and dope because I feel depressed. Same reason I eat a lot of sugar and starch.

My mission is still health and happiness.  I have to pursue my goals.  This thing about me being a divergent thinker is a nonissue.  So what if I am crazy.  There are plenty of crazy people out there.  My father is crazy.  He got to live a long and productive life.

Stop worrying about being crazy.  Crazy is as crazy does.  I can be as crazy as the mad tea hatter and as long I am not part of the society, why give a fuck?

The point is, I can be crazy but I cannot afford to be sick and depressed. Whether I am crazy or not, I still have my family intact.  So to hell with the rest of the population.

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What I should be worried i[t] (is) the effect of Nicorette, 3-in-1 coffee, and too much rice on my body.  They cause gout and inflammation.

mm