I should be able to ride the melancholy, sleepiness, and lack of energy. In two weeks I'll be OK. In the meantime just enjoy the inertia and ride with the melancholy. As long as there is no Nicorette, no 3-in-1 coffee, and no sugar.
Even exercise will be based on my mood. This is a long run. If I win this battle in the next 2 weeks, I will come out stronger.
What else I need to cover? My relationship with Els.
Fuck... The urge is there. I will persist. It's like pumping iron. When dealing *[with] with temptation, it is about saying NO OFTEN.
* I'll win the day by not taking Nicorette and 3-in-1 coffee
I need to prioritize my actions:
- Sleep
- Blog
- Coffee/Tea
- Read eBook
- Water
- Exercise
I do feel the urge to chew Nicorette. However, if I chew now, I am delaying my quit. To win I have to be ahead of time. By delaying I am behind time. I cannot do that. I had been behind time with Nicorette since 2012. This time I have to be firm. This is my future I am fighting for. My future begins today.
The muscle aching, inflammation, gout, uric acid, and bipolar disorder end with the reduction of insulin in the blood. That means I have to do away with Nicorette and all forms of sugar.
Not to mention that I have the fucking medication to deal with.
NICORETTE AND SUGAR END TODAY.
There was an urge to drink 3-in-1 coffee. Then I ate 2 peanut butter sandwiches. The noise disappeared.
The idea is to keep on persisting until you make it. If it took 21 years to get here, it means it will take the next 21 years is to move away from this point.
I need to come clean. I should be free from nicotine and sugar. Otherwise, my body is going havoc with insulin from Nicorette and 3-in-1 coffee.
----------------------------------------
I will make my life as simple as possible. Like, I am not going to expect much from Els.
Another thing is I am not going to have complex rules about my life, It will be just:
- Eat right
- Move more
- Sleep well
- Read
- Write
- Finally: Veni, Vidi, Vici
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