>>>#23/11/20 I have to persist on no Nicorette

 I have a lingering headache when I wake up this morning.

As I look back, many of my epiphanies were outrageous.  So it is safe to say that my epiphanies are full of hits and misses.

Hence I'm not going to rely on my epiphanies anymore.

In short, I am not going to rely on my Vision.

I was just a person experiencing a mental disorder due to the instability of dopamine in my brain.

But if I put a stop to all the epiphanies prior to 10/11/20, I still cannot explain why Tian Long is rose gold when I first got it.

That means I still start my second S Curve with a miracle.  Maybe it is another form of mental illness.  This is not a time to doubt my own judgment.  

I just take it that there are things that happen around me that are beyond explanation.

Since I have a history of a mental disorder, it is safe to conclude that I was probably delusional.

 I should not live in a world of fantasy anymore.

But isn't that part of human imagination?

Well, I decided to take the beginning and the end of the S Curve.  That will be the 10/11/2020; the unification of the 6 Dragons and Kursi Day.  The other one will be 7/4/2041; the date of KBOOOM 2041.  Let me just take these two dates.  

That way I don't carry anything from the past 21 years.

I need to think in terms of discontinuation.  Like for example:

• I don't believe in religions
• I just want to be a man fully functioning
• I am responsible for my own universe only
• The epiphanies were only meant for me
• Mental illness is a mean for the brain to go through neuroplasticity

Therefore at this point, I can choose to believe what I want to believe and that is true for me.  So here are my beliefs:

• I am already on the right path from 10/11/2020 to 7/4/2041
• Constructive Destruction starts now with me pursuing Men Sana in Corpore Sano
• Forget the idea of the Almighty God.  I am autonomous to govern my own universe
• The final arbiters are the Force, the Path, and the Flow.  These are pantheistic in nature
• What I can imagine I can do
• What I can imagine is already real to me

Looking at all these, I can say that whatever matters to me, only matters to me.  In this case, I can pick and choose what matters and what doesn't.

So here they are:

• It doesn't matter to me whether KBOOOM 2041 happens.  Upon death, I want to ascend to the Sidratul  Muntaha like I am right now
• It doesn't matter if there are other Gods and other universes.  These 78 billion light-years are my building blocks to my universe
• It does matter that my consciousness endures because with my consciousness I have already envisioned what it is like for me in the afterlife
• It does matter that I am not delusional.  I need sound judgment to make my decisions
• It does matter that I believe in who I am.  Nobody else will
• It does matter that I am convinced that the Kursi and Heaven and Sky are evidence that I am on the right path.

So assume it is just me and my consciousness.  What will be the conclusion I can derive from my life experience?

• There is no single God Almighty; there is only the Force, the Path, and the Flow
• I am the god to my own universe
• Whatever I am thinking is the realm of my consciousness
• Fuck...  It could mean that I am nothing more than a worm feed,  But I believe in the miracle of Tian Long and the alignment of the Kursi

  

 With all this, I concluded that I can think of whatever I want to think about.  Whatever I believe in is true for me.

Hence I decided to believe in the miracle of Tian Long and the alignment of the Kursi.  I should also believe in the alignment of my numbers and all the miracles that happened to me.  Therefore I choose to believe in KBOOOM 2041.  Just me and myself.  It doesn't concern others.

I guess the biggest realization is there is no single God Almighty and there is no single universe.  The best part is these are autonomous governance.

Like right now, I am on autonomous governance.  I can think of all the possibilities without having to depend on conventional thoughts.

Why bother then?

That's because I need to move with certainty.

Nothing is certain.  At best we can study signs and patterns.

What if I write without thinking too much about the rightness of my thoughts?  Will I lose control or will I naturally fall into my groove?

I think if I do it often enough, I'll see a pattern emerging.

One of the common patterns is I am beginning to see that I AM AUTONOMOUS.  

This is very helpful considering that I am dealing with a very microscopic world.

Well, fuck and get fucked...  Nothing matters.  Even logic doesn't matter.  What matters is the ability to create.  As long as I can create, I am a creator.  As long as I can write, I am a writer.  As long as I can run, I am a runner.

What matters then?  None other tha[t] (than) the ability to remain autonomous.  As long as I am autonomous, I am a free man.  I can then think outside the common paradigm.

With that in mind, the idea of autonomy is NOT TO CONFORM!

I can choose to be who I am and not having to conform to conventional wisdom.

This is my definition of who I am then:

I am an AUTONOMOUS Creator of my own Universe because I am responsible for my own consciousness and my own destiny.  I create my own heaven and hell and I am accountable for my personal well-being, particularly in achieving a sound mind and a sound body in order for me to attain health and happiness.

The first step is to quit Nicorette.  Next is quitting sugar. 

mm