So I don't know really. Since I reached the mountain top, I don't know where else to go.
So now I just linger. Certainly, I don't want to dwell on my past. I want to move forward. However, the way forward is through the discomfort of the dopamine void. I wish it is a smooth transition. Unfortunately, it is not.
I cannot find the right songs to help me get past the slump. I tried the Indonesian, too pathetic. So I switched to Alan Walker. Finally, I settle for some African songs.
Seriously, I need to beat depression.
That is the main issue here. I have no other issue. I have no issue with Rex, Els, BJ, RR, and the rest of the world.
If I follow that path I will be going on a downward spiral. I don't want to do that.
What is it that I do now that makes me happy? Indeed, listening to African songs makes me feel a sense of freedom.
Tomorrow I will stop Nicorette once again. I need to face depression for the next 4 weeks.
In the meantime, I will not make any major decisions.
One thing for sure is I should only exercise in the morning. On alternate days I'll do kettlebell and elliptical.
I have to keep reminding myself that this is a long run. I need to pace myself.
I need to feel grateful that I am the lucky few not affected by this Greatest Depression since the Great Depression.
mm
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