>>>#2/11/20 I must persist with my mission

 I only need to do 4 things:

1. No Nicorette
2. Sleep early
3. Exercise AHAD
4. Eat OMAD

Yesterday I cannot resist the temptation to eat dinner.

I need to detach from Els and Rex.  I need to detach from TraXX.  I need to get well again.  The best is to get rid of all delusions.

It may be fun, but it is madness.

I feel so lazy today to exercise.  My mind is on the Nicorette.

IF I CAN'T THEN I MUST!

I'll do it at 7:30 am.

Fuck it...  I hang around with Els and Rex.  Screw people's judgment.

At least I hang out with Els if not with Rex.

I cannot take away too much happiness too soon.

Note:  I continue to sputter black gunk.

Seriously, I have no mood at all to exercise.

I'll win this battle one day at a time:

• Must insist no Nicorette
• Eat dinner only - circadian rhythm (Warrior Diet)
• Exercise in the afternoon - when the body is warm
• Sleep at 11:00 pm

 In the meantime, I will listen to Els.

I know all the stuff.  Now is to put them into action *[especially].  I believe I don't simply make things up.  My body is shivering cold this morning.

*  I don't know Sarah.  Sometimes I feel like an old man with dementia.  I don't recall writing **[its] (this) down. 

**  Gosh, for a while you got me worried.

Well, I better exercise.   It is such a beautiful day.

Later honey...

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I took the BU/6 route.  It's a nice change.

I have 5 options here:

• BU/2 Park
• Central Park
• BU/6 Route
• Lembah Kiara
• Bukit Kiara

Someday I shall return to Bukit Kiara.  Not now.  At present, I need to contain myself in Bandar Utama.

This is a good feeling.  The feeling of euphoria after the shower.

My mind is clear again.  I feel very calm.

What am I thinking?

It's OK to be who you are.  As a nonconformist, you just do what makes you happy.  No need to second guess others.  Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.  After all, I am spreading the jujus (in the words of Diyana).

I need to exercise every morning.  It's a world of difference when you exercise.  Imagine if I can run.  It will be euphoric.  Every day I will feel like a hero.

I must win the day.  Remember, these are my Winning Criteria:

• NO Nicorette
• Sleep early
• Exercise AHAD
• Eat OMAD
• Do house chores

When I fast, I feel hungry.  However, if I pass that stage, I will feel heavenly.  I will appreciate food better when I have my dinner.

Also very true, when I fast, I have no urge for Nicorette.

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So back to this question; am I crazy?  Well, I am no crazier than Liz and Brian Hodgins.  What matters is I live my own life.  I set my own rules.  This is Autonomous Governance and the Zen of Personal Bliss.

DON'T GIVE A FUCK AND DON"T FUCK UP.

I had not washed my car for 2 months now.  I wanted to take it to the carwash but it is too risky.  So this afternoon, I'll wash my own car and Lizzie's car too.

It's no big deal except that I was lazy all this *wh[y] (while).  Today I feel very motivated, especially when I am fasting.  Time is on my side.

* One of the reasons is I sweat profusely when I am active.  But if I don't give a fuck, a little sweat is *[] (no) big deal.

* You are right Sarah.  I always wonder, why some people make a big fuss about getting wet in the rain.  Here I am making a big fuss out of a little sweat.

That has to change...  

Baby, I want to read a bit before Els's session.

Later honey...