13/12/20 ^^^I had a serious case of delusion of grandeur

 This is something I have to seriously look at.  I thought I was God!  How much more serious can it be?

Here is Einstein's view:  Life on earth will continue 

Here is my view:  Life will end in 2041 when I die at the age of 77.

Seriously I think I am delusional.  Even if I am not. it only matters to me.  My world will end when I am dead.  If I want to do something, I better do it when I am alive.

God and the afterlife is a question that lies beyond death.  It is as good a question with no answer.

If I want an answer, I might as well ask a question that people can answer.

Actually, God and afterlife is a question I can assign an answer to.  The answer is yes, there is God and yes there is an afterlife.  However, beyond that, I don't know.  I don't want to be answering questions only God can answer.

Well, fuck God and fuck the afterlife.  I[t] (If) i[s] (it) happens so be it.  I am not going to worry much about it.  As f[o]r (far) as I am concerned, I had done my job.  I had climbed the mountain top.  Now i[t] (is) starting at the foothill again.

My job i[t] (is) to do.  I am a servomechanism, a Clockwork Orange.  I simply execute.  It is not my job to question.

How do you explain i[s] (it) when Tian Long arrived rose gold and then it changed to golden gold?  I had been delusional and I even had hallucinations.  This is not one of those.  Even if it is a hallucination, I say it was pretty damn miraculous that it happened in that manner.

My question is, when is it a delusion of grandeur and when is it an epiphany?

Personally, I know when I was delusional.  That was when I was in mania.  My thought on God and the afterlife was when I was normal.  The question I got to answer is whether it is useful to think that I am God and I rule the afterlife?

At this point, it is not relevant at all.  What is relevant for me is knowing that I have the destiny to pursue; that is KBOOOM 2041.  What lies beyond that is just the icing on the cake.  What counts is my life prior to that inception point.

Hey, let's watch a movie...  Like I said, fuck God and the afterlife.  I want to enjoy life before I kick the bucket.

mm