I think that is worse than bipolar itself. With bipolar alone, I only have mood swings. Here I am talking about an altered perception.
I was basically having crazy thoughts. These are the thoughts I am trying to eradicate. As far as schizophrenia is concerned, *[] (I) don't think *[] (I) hallucinate much. But boy, was I delusional.
* As you can see, my delusions were pretty bad.
Therefore I am doing away with thoughts that are baseless. There are a few exceptions like KBOOOM 2041, my yuan fen with Els, and Tian Long's "miracle" (funny you know, as it is his shine is golden gold).
This is also a miracle:
Actually, I have enough evidence to believe that I am on the right path. However, since I was ill there are equally as many Type I Hits (believing what is right as true) as there are Type II Misses (believing what is wrong as true).
So no harm is done. I could be wrong half of the time. One thing for sure, I am both right and wrong at the same time. Therefore I am at the Point of Paradox.
The best I can describe myself is I am the God to My Own Universe and I am autonomous. Sure there is an Almighty God out there. As it is, this God neither favors nor disfavors me. For example, yesterday I scratched my car.
I have to decide based on the epiphanies given. As it is, what is certain is my life is about SWEE-nSS. As long as I stick to that formula, my WHOLE LIFE is a blessing. That is the microscopic deployment of Voluntary Simplicity.
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The hunger has subsided AS LONG as I don't eat processed carbs. If I do that I will spike insulin and I begin to have carbs craving big time.
Either I fast or I feast. There is plenty of time to feast. For the time being, until I lose 10 kg this month, I will refrain from eating too many carbs.
The idea is to keep the image of the 40 kg loss in my mind.
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Tian Long is still pretty amazing. He is still golden gold and looks pretty dominant. Although he is no lesser dominant by taking a secondary position to NagaNaga, this arrangement elevated NagaNaga dominance much.
So far S-Dragon and Tian Long proved to be magical. So I say NagaNaga and Dragon Planet are equally powerful as well.
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Wow, when the time is nearing to the breaking of fast, I begin to feel ravenous. Makes me wonder how I am going to manage a 72-hour fast.
Oh, the sensation disappeared. So it's true that it comes in waves.
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Now, back to the main topic, the delusion of grandeur. How can I not have grandeur thoughts? Things that I think of are grand.
Perhaps I should look from a different perspective. I should be thinking like a Sufi or a Zen monk. Full of humility.
The fact that I have 4 dragons is an indicator that I am a grandiose person.
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I should stop ruminating about my thoughts. I should be as natural as possible.
So what if I am a grandiose person? I am a God to my own Universe. Of course, I should feel larger than life! Being grandiose is a feel-good experience.
One way to find out if I have a delusion of grandeur or I am really a grandiose person is to lose these 40 kgs in 5 months.
Am I really great? That's what I want to find out...
mm
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