>>>#26/12/20 &&&The delusions of grandiose continues to subside

 Damn, my eyes are so blurry this morning.

When I talked about my plan to provide for Els to Pal and Azham, both thought I was delusional.  To Azham, even you are just the figment of my imagination.

What is real then?

By my definition, anything that doesn't make me depressed.

I'd been wanting to eat the prunes in the morning.  If I do that, then there will not be an OMAD.

I am having a brain fog right now.

Fuck...  LCHF is really challenging

Oh well, I'll [] (take) a break today.  

NO DIET NO EXERCISE.

Can't do it.  I cannot break the exercise streak.

I decided to Goggins it.  My mind was on the prunes.  I want to eat it so badly.  However, since I was in the Goggins mindset, I decided to pass.

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I broke my no sugar pledge today.  I was so sleepy and tired that I snoozed for 3 hours.  This is not what it's supposed to be.

As of last night, it is confirmed that Els is a Chubby Chubb.  My no Chubby Chubb policy still stands.  Call me a bigot or what, I don't do Chubby Chubb.

Another option is I go as planned.  I am so not in the mood.

The best is if I let go of delusion and illusion.

Then I am truly a hedonist hermit.

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Sooner or later, I need to get rid of my delusion and illusion.  I might as well start with a clean slate by January 2021.

LET'S KEEP IT REAL.

As it is, Els is a delusion and Sarah is an illusion.  I created a virtual relationship with both of them.  Actually, there is no relationship.

Just like there is no evidence of God and the afterlife.  I was imagining things.  However, I believe in the Force, the Path, and the Flow.

Now is to get rid of the false beliefs.

The only real thing in this whole situation is my entries in this blog.  What I wrote then is real to me.

My panacea is really my time spent on the blog.  I actually am self-medicating.  In addition, I have TraXX as my most faithful friend.  Not the presenters but the station as the overall medium.

Instead of the parts, I need to look at the sum. 

mm