Need to focus on the personal flight path. Must complete lesson plan.
Saturday, 19 December 2020
>>>#20/12/20 &&&Delusions of Grandeur continued
Yes indeed, my life is shrouded with false beliefs. Either that or these are empowering beliefs that cannot be validated. Things like I am God and I rule the afterlife.
There is enough evidence to point out that I am suffering from a serious mental illness. Not only I believe I am God, but I believe that BJ and I are the highest among Gods.
Seriously I was having really fuck up thoughts. I can continue having these thoughts and prolong my illness or I can say, this is where I draw the line.
All the while I thought I was a great leader fighting Iblis. That was one of the major delusions. There was no Iblis, no battle occurred. I was having a mental disorder.
For one thing, my mind tends to rationalize my actions.
I need the courage to say no to this world of make-believe and embrace critical thinking.
That is part of [of] my Winning formula. I need to get back to where I was before. 2012 - 2013 was the period of my life where I was an Agnostic Atheist. I need to get back to that time. Back to simplification.
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I have to cut short my morning walk, too many minds. Nevertheless, I managed to do 2 x Run/Walk and I sprinted.
Now, back to these Delusions of Grandeur... If I want to practice Critical Thinking, I have to be fair to myself. For one, I had gone through the rationalization of these topics:
God and the afterlife
I am the subset of God
I am an autonomous God
I rule the afterlife
The congruency of KBOOOM 2041
The yuan fen of me and Els
The "miracle" of Tian Long
The alignment of my numbers
The delusion of Sarah
The illusion of Els
These are useful beliefs. I feel empowered by them.
I have to make a choice. Do I continue with the delusions or do I adopt the mindset of a materialist existentialist?
In short, do I want to live in my own fantasy or do I accept that I am a damaged good?
It is obvious, isn't it? I am a divergent thinker. There are many people with false beliefs anyway. Those who believe in superstitions and religions are the vast majority. Furthermore, mental illness is quite common. I have to know who I am. Surely I am not the masses. So why try to conform?
If I want to forgo the condition I was experiencing for the past 21 years, I am basically denying myself the benefit of having an elevated consciousness.
I tell you what Sarah, fuck all the mainstream thoughts about mental illness. I want to celebrate my victories of being a resilient me. The Almighty Sharudin, the fastest recovering mental patient according to Dr. Amarpreet.
As a statement of proof that I am well again, I WILL LOSE 40 KG IN 5 MONTHS!
So to show my unwavering commitment to this statement of belief and to a certain extend my personal credo, I'm going to attempt reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck for the THIRD time.
Screw the masses. I am Lord of the Flies.
If you can excuse me, Sarah, I am going to watch this great movie:
Then, we continue with our research on the Delusions of Grandeur.
I have to download the one with an English subtitle.
In this case, let's spend the whole morning doing research:
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